B4: What do i want?
Why did i ever meet u? There was nothing so special abt u. U were just an oedinary guy i didn't even care abt at first. U were a usual frnd who i knew i wud forget as soon as we went our seperate ways. Even when u liked me i didn't.
But u made me feel special and important, the way no one ever has. Why do frndships need to change into something more, destroying eveything that is. We were happy being frnds weren't we? But everything changed. I lost a frnd. And even though i crave for u i always ask myself. Is this really what i want?
Do i really want to spend my life pining iver someone who came forcefully inti my lufe and made such a big place in it that i pushed my family away? I haven't even touched the tips of ur finger or holded ur hand for God's sake and i do crave it. I really do. But sometimes i feel like a moron wasting my life over some guy.
What do i want? I don't know. I want him and then i don't. I love my family but i m ready to hurt them fir someone else. WHAT DO I WANT?
This is how people arrive. Its not that god has given us a pair of lenses that identifies people according to their importance. Life is really a huge mess. Sometimes... while you are busy running for one thing, you realise that the other thing u needed badly... IS SIMPLY GONE.... Life does give u a second chance but that isnt so common. The seldom happiness and joy we get, allows us to rethink... allows us to answer what we want. Life is really cryptic. But, to find your own happiness in it is the most wonderful thing one can you.
ReplyDeleteI knw ur problems are complicated. But, u dnt neccesarily push ur parents away to get him. There are various ways to solve problems. This is the one that is clearly visible and looks easy, but, is not. You need to work for urself nd get to the method which will show you the path to true elation.
If you feel that u really want him, then its not that you are a moron wasting ur life over some guy. Maybe he entered forcefully... but his sole intention of doing that was to pull u out of the well you were trapped in. He did help u when noone did... and maybe.. you shld go by whatever your heart says.
Anyways, sorry for reading ur blog yet again. Also, i apologise for using such a bad english..... Forgive me, for my eng is really poor. Take good care of urself!