Exams over

Exams are over. And now i have no excuse to stay awake... meaning i can't talk to him like i do.. or anyone actually. I used to be available to every1 who needed me but i can't be... it's just been the fisrt day after exams and i already got scolded for sleeping late and chattong to someone so late. For "ruining" my life.

I can't be there with everyone anymore. I don't have my seperate room. I can't sleep late. I can't use my mobile late.. and i m pretty sure that in today or tomorrow's time mom and didi will give me that 11 pm limit again... and he and i will fight every night again... he won't wanna sleep.. i won't wanna sleep. And when i will force him to and he won't listen, i will just get angry, coz i myself don't wanna go to sleep and being the one who has to be strong and tell him to sleep and then not getting tge support i need, it bcmz difficult.

I reallyjust want him happy. Want my family happy. And i don't see any way where i can keep both one of them happy without hurting the other one. Bich me meri happiness to already gayab h... lekin agar mere khush na rehne se dusre khush h to well and good.

It's just that i can't do this again... the 11 pm drama. Getting scolded. Ruining his mood. Crying the night through. Not being able to sleep. Getting into a fight abt why i didn't sleep... then being accused of never telling anything. Of hiding everything. Well what shud i say... i can't even repeat those words to him that my mom says.

I just need to go somehwere with him alone forever where i don't need to give explanations to anyone. Where i can talk to him without being judged. Where i can go abt anywhere with him. Where mine or his parents or anyone in this society can't harass us of being together. Where i am not reminded of being a sinner where my sin is falling in love and where i am shown everytime that my sin is even bigger coz i love someone of different religion.