U know whenever i used to hear things abt anee and niharika being jealous of someone and fighting abt it. Fighting with that person they are jealous of. Suspecting each other. I used to be proud of being yours. Proud pf having you. Bcoz i knew u wud never let anyone come in between us. Not wasma not rohit and not even ayush. But everytime u behave like this, i..

That pride in me gets shamed. It feels like someone is mocking me and asking ne ki kya ab Kya hua? Ho gya? Yahi tha tumhara so called fake pride? 
I used to pity the distrust between niharka nd anee. I used to laugh at what kind of rrlationship they have where they don't trust that they are enough for each other.
Nd i used to admire u for not being like that. But whenever it's anything abt him... u just forget everything. Forget that i love you amd ONLY you. That u r the most important person in my life. Forget that i have always kept u above everyone. Even my own family at times. It doesn't feel like u doubt what i tell you, but u doubt my love for you. And that hurts me. The way u talk, the way u act, the way ur actions make me feel like i didn't just talk to a guy but as if i cheated on you. I hate the fact that u r insecure.

Whenever i hide something or don't tell it to you, u get angry and upset. And i accept my fault. I apologetically accept it. I rteally am sorry abt it and i swear i am trying. But when it's abt him... it's no longer abt me hiding things, is it?
U say ki i don't tell u amything... not abt this but in general. Well how is that "general" thing related to this? 
When have i not told u abt him? I cud have avoided this conversation by simply not mentioning anything abt the call or when we met at the party right? But i told uh bcoz i know it affects you and that u will be hurt if i don't tell it to you. I tell you all the little details of the entire conversation i had. Even when konica etc told me not tp tell u so that things don't become worse.. i still told you. I cud jave avoided u getting sad, me getting sad, this wholle crying and being hurt issue. But i still always tell u... and then when u say i don't tell u... it hurts. 

General me nahi batate chize to uske liye ho naraz gussa ho. Dato samjhao. But when it comes to him... i never hide it. Yes i didn't mention the calls that i ignored but they were not MY priorities those particular moments. My priority was you, Us. My priority was not letting u feel alone there, to try to keep u happy, to not let u feel that u can't give me time, to help u cope up with everything. It wasn't to sya ki ha ayush call kiya tha. U consider it not sharing stuff, i consider it setting my priorities straight. 

Jaan imaagine u having a conversation with.. idk wasma. And then me asking u to tell each and every little detail of what u talked abt, abt what she said, abt how she said it. Ya i know tum khud aake bata doge... but then even when u tell me everything, i give u that cold reaction. I say stuff like thik hai jo karna h karo. Mat batao. What does it matter. Go talk to her. Talk to her coz she is eager to talk to you and can give u time or talk to me. Asking u what Else u talked abt. Saying that u never tell me anything right after wasting a whole night telling me all the things u talked abt with her. And then being angry at you... for God knows what reason. And then saying ki bhul jao aaj jo hua, uske vajah se mood mat kharab karo nd udas mat ho when u know that usne udas nahi kiya. And then knowing how hurt u feel whenever we discuss anything abt her and still having the guts to tell me everything later even when u know i will give u the same cold reaction nd say stuff like that. 
Tell me how u wud feel if i said any of those things u did. How u wud feel when i will say things that just suggest i don't trust ur love for me. 

I can't even ask you to trust me can i? After all i have broken ur trust. I nevwr share my problems or anything. I never tell u what mom said or what didi said. I hide things. So of course, i don't deserve asking u to trust me. Why should you? Who knows i might be cheating on you bcoz i hide things right.